Hepausedinhisstride,fightingtheurgetogobak.Heouldn’tgobak,hereallyouldn’t.HedoubtedProfessorMGonagallwasstillup,butthepossibilitythatDraoalledherdownwastoogreat.Notthathispresenewouldhangeanything.Hewouldeathisownshoesifhewasn’tonthetrainbaktoKing’sCrossattheendofthesummer.Hemukeditup.Butdidn’thealways.

Heresumedhiswalkofshamebaktowardshisorridors.Hewouldbeginpakingtonight.Hedidn’tknowwherehewouldgo.Well,baktoGrimmauldPe,obviously,buthedidn’tknowwhathewoulddo.Thehope,orratherthefantasy,thatDraohadwantedhim,eveninasmallway,hadreallybeenoneoftheonlythoughtshehadtakensoeinsinethewar.Andnow…andnowheknewthatDrao,aliveandwell-well,aliveandbreathingandbetterthandead,ifnotexatlywell—wantedhimbutwouldn’thavehim.Orwantedhim,butnotenough.Orhadwantedhim,atsomepoint,butdidn’tanymore.

Hemarvelledatthefatthatitdidn’tmakehimfeelanybetter,toknowthatinsomepeandtimeofDraoMalfoy’slife,hehadfeltsomethingforHarry.Buthesupposedthatwasbeausetheknowledgemadeallofhisimaginedlossesreal.Theawkwardfirstfewmealstheywouldhavesharedafterthewar,bothworriedthattheotherwasjustgoingthroughthemotionsofbeingiviltohelpmovealongthepost-warunitymovement.Thefirstfewautioustouhesthatwouldleadthembothtooverthink,beausesurely,surelyhehadn’tmeant—Buthadhe?Andwhentheyrealizedthattheotherhadmeantit,thentheywouldbefaingalltherebuildingtheyhadtodo,personally,globally,togetherinsteadofseparatelyandsoinrediblyalone.Andmaybethey’dhavefought,sreamedateahotheruntiltheywerehoarse,thrownthings,madeanabsolutetipofGrimmauldPewiththesmallwarstheywagedeverynight,whihwaswhateveryonewouldhaveexpeted.Butmaybetheywouldhavebeenhappy.Harrylikedtothinkthey’dhavebeenhappy.

ButDraohadbeendead.Hehadbeendead,sotherewasbeyondadoubtnopossibilityofthesethoughtsbeingmorethanafantasy.Butnowhewasalive,andifonlyDraowasn’tsosared,ifonlyMGonagallwasn’tsoareful,heouldtry.Itdidn’thavetowork,butgod,hewishedtheyouldtry.

Chapter7

“Mr.Potter,itisratherte.”

“I’msorry,Professor,Irealizethisisaninonveniene.Ifitweren’timportant,Iwouldhavewaiteduntilm,”Harrysaid,fidgetingnervouslyontheothersideofMGonagall’sdesk.“Ineedtomakethisright.”

“Mr.Potter,Ihaven’ttheslightestideaastowhatouldbesowrongthatitwarrantedmakingrightattwointhem,”MGonagallsighed.“Iwasundertheimpressionthattheseunfortunatetenightmeetingsofourswouldendwithyourlearningtobehavelikeanadult.”

“That’swhatIamtryingtodo,Professor.Intellingyou.”

“Tellingmewhat?”

“Ilovehim,Professor.Ilovehimandforhissafety,IfeellikeitwouldbebetterthatIleft,”Harrysaid.“I’msureyouagree.”

MGonagallfroze.

“I’msureIdon’tknowwhatyoumean.”

“Thewolf.He’snotsomuhwhiteasheisblonde,isn’the?Haveyoueverseenablondewolf?”

“I’mnotpartiurlywellversedintheolorationpatternsofwolves,Mr.Potter,”MGonagallrepliedslowly.

“Therewasn’tabody,”Harryontinued.

“Whatdoyoumeanabody?Doyoususpetthewolfofhavingkilledsomeone?Surelynotastudent,therearenoneleftonthegrounds.”

“Professor,you’resmarterthanthis.Don’tdomethedisservieofpretendingyouaren’t.Hismother’stestimonywastheonlyreasonwehadtobelievethepileofasheswashim.Therewasnoidentifiablebody.”

“How?”MGonagallasked,herfaedarkeningastheatshewasputtingonfellaway.

“Ijustknew,”Harrylied.Hedidn’twantDraotogetintroubleforthis,forhislivingarratobeomeanymorediffiultthanitalreadywas.Hejustwantedhimtobehappy,ashappyasheouldbelivingasaghost.Beausethat’swhathewasnow.Amanlivinginthewalls,venturingoutintothedark,neverspeakingtoanotherlivingsoul.Aphantomofhisformerself.“Ifthepersonyouhadfalleninlovewithwasloseby,wouldn’tyoufeelthem,Professor?Wouldn’tyoujustknow?”

“Mr.Potter.Harry.Youuandhowimportantitisthatnooneknowshe’salive?”

“Yes.Idon’tuandwhyyoutwohavedonewhatyou’vedone.Butitmusthavebeenwhathewanted.Ijustwanthimtobehappy.”

“Ifthattrulyisyourmainonern,thenyoumustalsouandwhyyouleavingputsabadtasteinmymouth.Itrustyou,Potter.Impliitly.Butoneslipup,andhissafetyisinjeopardy.Measuresmustbetaken,”MGonagallontinued.

Right,Harrythought.She’llwanttoobliviateme.

“YoumustuandthatMr.Malfoy’shappinessandsafetyisalsomyfirstandforemostonern.Afterall,Iriskedlifeandlimbevenbringinghimhereinthefirstpe.”

“Ofourse,”Harryreplied,pushingdownthesikfeelinginhisstomah.

Obviously,fettingwouldbethebestourseofationforallpartiesinvolved.Heouldgobaktohisfantasieswithoutknowingtherewasevenaminutehaneofthemomingtofruition.DraoandMGonagallwouldremainoutofharm’sway.Everyoneomesoutawinner.Maybewinnerwastoostrongaword.

“IneedtoonsultMr.Malfoy.ItrustIantakethetimetodothatwithouthavingtoworryaboutyoudoinganythingrash?”

“Ofourse.”

“ThenIwillseeyouinafewhours,Mr.Potter.”

Andwiththathewasdismissed.

“Wakeup.”

Draowasstartledoutofhissleepbysomeoneshakinghisshoulder.

“Weneedtotalk,”MGonagallsaid,promptlyexitinghisbedroom.

Shehadneveromeintohisapartmentsbeforewhil

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