“Notthistime,”Draosaid,holdinghimonthisdingykithenfloor,hopingheistellingthetruth.“It’sover.”
“I’vethoughtthatsomanytimes.”Harrywasbreakingunderhhishands,hisomposurerumbling,andforthefirsttimesineHarryhadknownhim,helookedtired,tiredandyoungandsmall.“Somanytimes,Ithinkit’sdone,thatI’vewon,thatweanallrestandbesafeandnoonehastohurtanymore,butthenIturntheornerandthere’sjustanotherthingtofight.Iamsotiredoffighting.”
“Thendon’t.”Draowasalmostintears.“time,don’tfight.Letsomeoneelsedoit,anyoneelse,thisisn’tyourjobanymore,Harry!”
“Thenwho’sgoingto?”Hisbreathingwasragged,hiseyesblurredwithtears.“It’sonlyeverbeenme.Meandthisfight,it’sallI’veeverknown,andifit’sgone—ifit’sreally,reallygoneDrao,forgood—whatamIthen?”Hespitsthewordout.“Nothing.Youan’tbeaherowhentherearenobadguystofight.”
“Youdon’thavetobeanything.Youdon’thavetobeahero.YoujusthavetobeHarry.”Draohadtoldhimthisbefore,hadspentnightssittingwithhisbaktotheheadboardandHarry’sheadinhisp,tryingtoonvinehimthatitwasokaytotakethistimetofindhimself,thatitwasalrightifhespenttherestofhislifedoingnothingbuttryingtomakehimselfhappy,really,afterallhehadgivenandallhehadlost.“That’senoughforme.”
Whyan’titbeenoughforyou,hethinks,butthenHarryisheavinginagreatshudderingbreathandshakingouthishair,straighteningbakupwithawaterysmile.“Thisisstupid,”hesays,wavinghishandsaroundatthemessaroundthem,perhapstalkingabouthisbreakdownormaybejusttalkingabouthislifeingeneral.“I’mjusttired.”
“Thenlet’sgotobed.”Draostandsupandtowelsfalldownaroundhimashemoves,holdingoutahandtoHarry.
Harrystaresupathim.“Butyousaid—thetowels?”
“Bed,Harry.”Hewaveshishandathimagain,insistent.“Thingswilllookbetterinthem.”
Draokeepslookingforasignthatanotherbreakdownmightbeontheway,butforallisandpurposes,itwaslikeHarrydoesn’trememberwhathehadsaidonthenightofthenapkins.Atually,heseemstogooutofhiswaytoavoidit,throwinghimselfintotheweddingpnningwithaferoitytorivalMrs.Weasley.It’sintenseenoughthatevenLunanoties.
“Itisverynieofhimtodothis.Healwayswassuhaniefriend.”SheiswathingHarryhelpGinny’smeasurementswithadeterminedlookonhisfae,ughingwhenshedemandshimtorehekitallforathirdtime,justinase.“ButIdidn’teverthinkthathewasthatintoparties.”
“Tobefair,itisn’taparty.”IfDraowasgoingtoonfideinanybodyabouttheoion,itwouldbeLuna,buthedidn’tfeelrightaboutit.“It’sawedding.”
“Istheremuhdifferene?”Lunadidn’tseemtobethatbotheredbytheideaoftheimpendingdate,whihwasonlyweeksaway,seeingastheybothwanteditdonebeforesheheadedbaktoHogwartsinthefallforarepeatofherfinalyear.Tehnially,shehadgraduated,butMGonagallhadderedtheoptionforrepeatyearsavaibleforanyonewhothoughtthatthestyearortwooftheireduationwasunsatisfatoryfortheirneeds.UnlikeGinny,whowasbeomingmorefrantiwitheahday,Lunasimplystatedwhatshewantedandthenstukwithit,andGinnyiablyagreed.“Theleanupforbothisextremelymessy.”
Draoopenedhismouthtoargue,andthenlosedit,beausereally,sometimesoionswithhertookmoreenergythanheknewwhattodowith.
“Oi,Drao!”Ginnywavedhimover,andheame,dreadingthenewtaskthatheandHermionewouldbeassignedwith.Drao’ssortofabridesmaid,thoughhe’shopingthatLunadoesn’tdemandthathewearsadress.“Whatdoyouthinkofthenewolorsheme?Lunapikedit.”
Itwasblueandpink,bothinterriblygarishshades,andbothwouldshterriblywithGinny’shair.Arosstheroomfromthem,Fleurwaslookingveryross,beauseshehadbeentryingtopawnoffsomeofthepreviouslyruinedandnowrepaireddeorationsthatwouldhavebeenusedattheendofherownweddingreeption,haditnotbeeninterruptedbythedeatheatertakeoveroftheministry,andLunahadsaidthatshewouldneverhavesomethingsoshinyatherownwedding,thatitwouldattrattoomanymagialbugsthatnooneintheroomhadheardofbefore.
“Don’tworry.”Heouldfeelaheadaheswellingupbehindhistemples.Nowthathispotionswerewindingdown,hewasdesperatelyinneedofaprojet,buthethinksheouldhavefoundaneasierone.“I’lltalktoher.”
Theygethomete,aftertheolorshemehadmadeitsfinalhangetoolorsthatwerelesspainfultotheeyes,aftertheyhadonvinedLunatomakeanappoitobefittedforanatualweddingdress,andafterGinnyhadpikedaakeandhargedDraowiththetaskofgoingtoorderit.AndGodhelpyouifthere’sasinglefrostedroseoutofpe,shehadsaid,whihwasmuhlessfrighteningthanhemighthavefounditafewmonthsagobutstillworrisome.
“Merlin,anyoubelieveallthat?”Harrywasyankinghisjumperupoverhisheadwhilewalkingatthesametime,andhestumbledoverthekithenhairthathehadleftpushedoutintheentranethatm,thenwalkingonlikehehadn’t.“Bloodyhell,there’ssomuh,andhandwritteninvitations,lord,I’llbestuffingallthoseintoenvelopesforhourswhileyouwritethem,won’tI?”Hisheadpopsintosightagainandhesmiles.“GoodthingIlikeyousomuh.”
Draoisn’tsurewhyithitshimatthatmoment,really,butashe’slookingathim,itourstohimthathereallyhadmeantwhathehadsaidtheothernight.This,evenifHarryreallyhadmovedonfrombeingahero,w
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